The ways in which my life is like What About Bob?

• I feel good--I feel great--I feel wonderful--
• I'm afraid that I won't be able to find a bathroom, and my bladder will explode.
• I divide people into groups based on how they feel about Neil Diamond.
• I use toilet paper or tissues as a barrier between my skin and public surfaces.
• Baby steps get on the bus.
  

The Five Types of Conversation

• i like you
• i hate you
• we hate other people/things (aka, bullshit!)
• we love other people/things (aka, awesome!)
• the weather

Things I've Said While Drunk That I Still Totally Mean

• We should start our own bar.
• No, Dude Where's My Car is a great example of comedic film-making.
• Let's live together and buy a piano.
• Coldplay sucks.
• That guy is cute.
• Everything's the damn same wherever you go.
• I love booze.