Jon Stewart at UVM

I won't post everything here that I write for Blurt over at Seven Days, but I'm particularly proud of this one, only because I truly love Jon Stewart so much and am so happy that I got to see him the other night.

I kept v. detailed notes from the engagement, so if anyone's ever interested, let me know, and I'll pass them along.

My non-paying gig

That ironically is actually sort of in my area of expertise. I'm now an intern at Seven Days in Burlington. I've written a couple of blog posts for them, but mostly I'll be behind the scenes.

More from the sister

I know I've been quoting her a lot--she might as well be a co-author of the blog at this point--but this is something she said to me a few years ago, and it keeps popping up in my head lately:

Our conveniences aren't conveniences; they're fucking burdens and constraints. When did man sacrifice depth of consciousness for processed, pre-sliced cheese?

You're not a writer

Last night I was chatted up in a bar by some dude. Yes, I appreciate socializing, but this person was just lame. After he found out I majored in English, he started talking about characters and writing and how he'd like to write something someday. Two sentences later he also used the line, 'I'm a student of life.'

Do I even have to comment that this was a horrible conversation? Let me begin with the most important point: Wake up, people. Not everyone is a writer; not everyone can do it; it's not as easy as you think. Let it go, do what you are actually good at, and leave the writing to those who even have a modicum of understanding of the medium and who strive and sweat and laugh and cry over the art-form.

And a 'student of life'? Come on. What are you, a 60-year-old hippie? Who, by the way would have way more cause to used that hack cliche than a clueless 20-something. Gain some actual attributes and the proper adjectives to describe them. Not for me, or those who have to talk to you. For yourself, really.

My sister, comedic genius

Me: Josh Lyman on The West Wing is rumored to be based on Rahm Emmanuel.
Sister: Really? Cool.
Me: And his brother Ariel Emmanuel is the inspiration for Ari Gold, Jeremy Piven's character on Entourage.
Sister: And they say Jews don't run the world.

-------------

Me: [at the end of a long rant about Republicans] Why have any government at all? Then there would never be any taxes or spending! Problem solved!
Sister: You have to have the government to stop people from having abortions.

The Other Sunday

The phone never rings on
Sunday, silence and it's
all around, only the radio
playing, and all quiet
above the whispers
and the screams, and on the
refrigerator sits a message.

untitled

hi or hello?
what did you
say to me because
I can't remember--
I saw you walk
by but your
words missed me--
so what did you say, hi
or hello, or
was it even
me?

Epic silliness

Hickey-pokey, we ride along,
Under the purple tree,
Through the mountain and over the wood,
Comes the gallant three.

They watch, they wait, they listen,
And when they hear no sound,
They run, they shout, they bounce,
Because the square is round.

Never such a turquoise day,
Or such a polka sky
Will ever be seen by two or three,
As like the fuchsia hound.

As like the fuchsia hound, my son,
As like the fuchsia hound,
It moos, it gurgles, it holds its breath,
For a duck walks upon his sword.

This is the end of our adventurous ride,
Though the trolley finishes the way,
We hope you had a caucus time,
And never plant corn in May.

Firecracker

Bark and run,
sniff and scratch,
sleep and eat--
life for me--
clueless but loyal
and loving
jump and run
off

untitled

as the wood moves
in black and
brown on my pen--
swirls--
white smudge along
the table powdery and
flowing in and out of
a dot in creases;
it won't wipe off--
while gold leaps out
and tells
truths I didn't
dare to think be
cause they are
too reassuring.